很久以前，有人说我对自己要求很高，像纳粹党员。
今天，有个小朋友，说要教我有时如何可以不这么理智如何过点不守规矩的生活。
也知道自己对自己的荷刻。
后来遇到一个个比我对自己要求更高的人，看到他们不自觉的活得很辛苦， 仿佛也看到自己给自己的压力。
原来大部份的人都有被弃绝的经历。它给我们的伤害可以很深远。因为怕再被弃绝，唯有拼命做个好孩子好学生好员工好情人。
我天天气势如虹，有时累了，也只给自己一个时期当过渡期；之后，擦干眼泪拍拍屁股，又再很有规矩很有理想的向前进！
这样的活了大半辈子，以为应该这样活；以为只是因为自己是‘完美主义’，而这样的性格使我在求学和工作都无往不利。
我的下半生，我要退步一下。Excuse me!
3 comments:
天天气势如虹?
你是在說我吧？
"天天气势如虹" wah...this word is so....formal! :D
but you memang are always energetic and rational, just worry you cannot recognise the feeling of being sad.
to me, if you don't feel sad, you have no idea what is happiness, sweet, romance...etc.
it's life, we are meant to taste everything. :)
wah...semacam i know life so well. but yaz, like we always say, do what we can, do what we love, do what makes us happy - life is short.
And most importantly, we can only die once!!!
Live kao-kao, Kok-koko!
Love and kisses,
koko
koko,I am just practicing my EQ (when you see me 'rational-ing' )- when I was in my teen, I already hated people to 'show face' whenever they are in bad mood- and I always believe '己所不欲，勿施于人'，so I always manage my own sadness/bad mood/negative feeling, 报喜不报忧. I do have sadness, and I am a very sensitive person, 大情大性，my joy is to the max, same for my grief. So I have tasted all the 甜酸苦辣 in life, and my taste buds still in good condition!
After I converted ( to Christian ), I am an opened book, you get what you see, - a rational person can be happy, is it contradictorily?
What I wanted to mess up is the 'always-try-my best ' part of myself, not the positive aura that I have.
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